THE GREAT NAIAD-DRYAD FEUD
The Naiads and the Dryads were having a feud,
Because there were only so many satyrs to go around;
And (let’s face it), a girl has needs! At least the nereids,
The sea nymphs, didn’t get into it...thank the goddess
For small favors, on that one. Naiads are water nymphs
And Dryads are tree nymphs, so actually they are sort
Of cousins.
The bickering was getting worse and worse every day;
Plus the few satyrs there were, were getting worn out
With all the love-making. This is soooo unusual for
Satyrs. They were getting kinda desperate for a little
Sleep. Since they were used to being the ones doing
The chasing, this was bad for their self-esteem, as
Horny and hairy Satyrs.
The fighting came to a head when Merlida the naiad
Scratched the bark of Polyertia the dryad, and caused
Some green sap blood to flow. Polyertia screamed
In fury, and started pulling out the hair of the water
Nymph, and scratching her face. Then Merlida tried
To drown Polyertia. (You see how things were going).
The animals were getting very distressed at all the
Racket, especially the fauns, who just wanted to play,
And were very peace-loving. They all got together
In a conclave with the other animals, and decided that
The only thing to do was to go looking for the nature
God Pan, and let him settle things.
They were also hoping Pan knew where some other
Satyrs were, because the hormones of the different
Types of nymphs all went wacko when they were horny,
Just like human women. When the Satyrs got horny
And were frustrated, they just fought among themselves
With clubs and bellowed a lot, and then got drunk.
Simple. They never pulled hair like the nymphs.
After a couple of days’ walk, the animals and their
Spokesperson, the faun Attimas, finally found Pan.
He was sitting by a stream, playing his pipes,
Surrounded by beautiful naiads and dryads, and
Several of the larger fairies. They were all draped
Near him, looking beautiful and gazing at him with
Soulful eyes; giving him water and fruit when needed.
Pan asked Attimas why they were disturbing his
Artistic playing. When they explained about all the
Ruckus back in the forest, Pan rolled his eyes but finally
Roused himself enough to stand up and stretch. Of course,
Since he didn’t wear anything, the nymphs really admired
His stretch.
The advice he gave was this: that Attimas and some of the
Fauns were getting old enough to help the Satyrs out
With the nymphs. And in the meantime, he would send
Messengers to some of the heroes and demi-gods who were
Unattached, to come take up the slack (so to speak).
Just then, a deer came up, all out of breath.
He told Pan and the animals that they had better hurry,
Because the fighting had escalating from name-calling,
Scratching and hair-pulling, to socking and using rocks!
When some of the worn-out Satyrs had tried to sneak off
To get more sleep, and they were getting hit too.
Pan realized then that things called for stronger measures,
So he asked some someone to fetch Orpheus right away.
Then they all set off in an entourage, the animals, half-
Humans, demi-gods, heroes, and even a couple of centaurs.
There were a lot of nymphs in the forest and streams, so they
Needed plenty of reinforcements!
Finally they all arrived at the large forest. Pan asked
Orpheus to play a ‘calling’ tune on his lyre, and all the
Nymphs and Satyrs came. They were a sorry-looking lot, too.
The nymphs were all battered and scratched, the Satyrs were
Very tired and had some bruises. Pan talked to the whole
Assemblage, “Now. This is how it is going to be. First
Orpheus is going to play some soft music so everyone can
Rest and get plenty of sleep. After that, everyone wash up
And gather fruits and nuts.
Then…we are going to have a party! I have asked Bacchus
To come and bring some wine, and we are going to have a
Good ole Bacchanalian orgy! There are enough males to go
Around now. Okay, everyone! Rest up so we can PARTY!”
And that was how Pan solved the great Naiad-Dryad feud.
© Copyright 11/21/05
Beth Johnson
(Mystic Amazon)
